It has been over a week since I made my last post. I feel that I’m remiss when I don’t post fairly often, but the last post was rather difficult as has been the time since then.
Things are proceeding onward, at least to me. I’m back on Wellbutrin, and I’m just trying to proceed from one day to the next. I will say, I remember when I first went on Wellbutrin, and I remembered it irritating my mild IBS to no end when I would change my dose. The same thing is happening this time, but at least it only lasts for a day or two, and next week I will step up to what will be my normal dosage from here on out, at least until all things depressing are resolved.
Then again, that may take a very long time, and I may always suffer from some depression. I’m sure one day I’ll find long lasting happiness, and I do find happiness in small things right now… like… realizing that my only blouse is a bit too tight in the chest, and the sweater that I’d wear over it just no longer fits at all. Another is when I get Miss and Ma’am multiple times in a day, which just makes me grin. But I find sadness in things that I never thought I’d ever be sad about in my life. I blame the hormones. And yes, I’m crying right now. Damn hormones!
I know it must seem crazy that I’m heading down this road, that so much that I’m doing, I’m doing to myself, but… I’ve never known happiness like I know it now, even though it can be rather brief. Many of my friends have expressed that when I’m happy, that the quality of true happiness can’t be compared to before, because its on such a higher level than ever before. So I’m going to hold out hope, and just hang in there. Besides, thats what I always do. Well, that and fall on that sharp pointy sword thingy, but I’ve decided I can’t be like that anymore, that was the old me.
And so, onward!
P.S. Somebody, Anybody! Ask me a question or ten, things that will require a long response or something to help drag me out of my current funk.